A Letter to Regina Mobley

Dear Regina,

My wife just told me the great news. WVEC is doing a story about the HRT experience. It thrills me to know that soon -- at least after your broadcast tonight -- the entire Hampton Roads viewing public will have a taste of the joy of riding our local public transit system.

Since your story is slated to run tonight, I'm sure the footage has already been shot, edited, and is now awaiting the push of the play button. So, I'll pretend that my simple request reaches you through a tear in the fabric of time, catching you before the remote cameras roll. My request is this: please use a hidden camera.

I know you guys have them. I've seen plenty of undercover exposés done in the interest of the public's need to know. And you know how people get when they see a news camera. We certainly don't want this story to appear staged, do we? My hope is that some degree of stealth will capture things on the bus as they really are.

For example, if the guy in the back of the bus sees a news reporter, he might feel pressured to censor his cell phone shouting match with that "fuckin' bitch [he] gon' beat to deat' when [he] get home." And how is anyone going to be comfortable cracking open a cold forty-ounce on the way to work when there's a lens in his face?

Hopefully, Regina, you also realize that a bus stop gang beating takes on a completely different dynamic when there's a camera rolling. It's just not as exciting when the participants feel like they have to "perform". Do you real want to rob any potentially new passengers of that authenticity? Let 'em get a taste of the real thing. Isn't that what truthful reporting is all about? Besides, all that upfront conspicuous journalism is just bad for business. The rolling sales force of bootleg CD and DVD pushers and perfumed oil merchants might be suddenly timid about offering me their wares, thus causing a big dent in their profits.

And what of the drivers? Don't they have enough to deal with? Do them a favor and keep this project on the low-low. I've never driven a bus full of people, but I imagine it's gotta be hard to hear the riders shouting turn-by-turn directions when there's a reporter in your face asking you, "What's the more difficult part of your job?" (The answer to this, by the way, is, "All these fucking people asking me shit all the time.") Plus, the pressure of a news crew may cause a driver to feel as if he or she has to be on schedule. Where's the fun in that? We all know that unpredictability breeds excitement, right?

So, Regina, since you'll most like be reading this either today until the story airs at 6:00 p.m., or perhaps long after, I hope you've done the right thing and assembled an honest and accurate glimpse into this rolling stop-and-go world. You owe at least that much if not to your viewers, then to HRT's loyally unhappy passengers. And if you do read this after the story, let's hope your hindsight doesn't need contact lenses.

Oh, and if by some anomaly of quantum physics this does get to you through that rip in time and you're the one considering going undercover, you may want to find someone in the studio who doesn't look like they stepped off a TV news set. 'Cause, honey, you just ain't ghetto enough for the bus.